Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
