We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
