I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
