my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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