You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
