Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
