i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
