idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize