These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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