He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
