Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
