yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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