"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
