from now on my penis is your penis
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
