Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
