I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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