Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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