She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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