Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
