If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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