I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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