i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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