just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
