great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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