So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
