I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
