I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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