yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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