um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
