this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm always down for nudity.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
