dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
