He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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