Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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