i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
