its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
