He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
