Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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