I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
