just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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