She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
