Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
