remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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