Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
