seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
