I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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