There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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