I can tuck mytits in my pants
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
