I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
