I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
