I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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