A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
