i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
