so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize