What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
