so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
