this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
