This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
